“The first step to any of the work toward feeling better about yourself as a mom (and as a person) is to accept yourself. Yes, with the dirty hair, in your pajamas, covered in spit-up. You made a person. You are amazing. Practice acceptance toward your feelings, your doubts, your fears, and your joys. They are all you, and you are pretty powerful.” – Brave New Mom, p. 8
There’s this self-improvement craze that gets embedded deep into us women. This idea that there is always a better version of ourselves just around the corner, just one monthly subscription of $19.99 away.
I call B.S. While wanting to improve can be noble and motivational, it can also be demoralizing and it devalues who you are right now. You are phenomenal just as you are, right this very minute.
One of my favorite meditation teachers, Jack Kornfield, says “You are perfect just as you are, and there is always room for improvement.” You can be both – wonderful as is, and a work in progress. But there are a lot of ad campaigns out there that support you being a work in progress, and not enough attention on the part where you’re wonderful just as you are! That’s because it won’t make anyone any money. So we have to do it ourselves – draw our attention to how great we are at least once a day, or build in places to feel that way, if it doesn’t come as naturally to us.
You might start right here, where you are right now. Allow yourself to think about something you’ve done well today. Reflect on it, and really let yourself feel that – you did well today. Let the but and the should thoughts drift away for now. You did well today.